Haunted by a book. It lifted me up and made a whirlwind out of my thoughts like almost no book before (the english patient was still a stronger obsession). Writing in my mind like her, knowing that if my artistic temper had been just a little more gifted, I could have been her.
I am her, in a way, just now. With my love, with my sensuality still hidden, a girl, a lover, half a woman.
I am drawing again, an image seen in one of the extasy moments. In grey and dark green.
Been dreaming last night - a fishnet full of little babies, children with soft white skin, taken out of the sea. I was swimming in the sea but could not save them. They were eating the babies, cooking them in the most horrible way until they became crispy. Then of course they would be coming after me. I decided to wake up and, half awake, realized that it could mean the following: I am afraid that "they" - the company - might take away my deepnes, the sea, and all the treasures inside it. They might roast them and feed from them, while I would stand unable to fight back in any way. But this will not happen. I am alive, the book keeps me so. I dive into another personality, finding resemblances with myself, fantasising.
And when I will finish..I will start it again, or buy a new one :)
